I’m a very lucky girl. I don’t know how it happened, but over the years I’ve met some pretty remarkable people who are very passionate and goal oriented. They had desires and dreams then found the means to make them come true. I will profile them in a new feature called Passion Meets Purpose. It is my hope that their stories encourage and empower the rest of us to do the same.

This week we speak with Jimmeka Anderson of I AM not the Media. I was introduced to Jimmeka in 2005 when she became a member of The Nu Rho Chapter of Alpha Kappa AlphaSorority Incorporated (Skee Wee!)

No Fear: My Oprahversary

Today’s my Oprah-versary! If you don’t get down with Lady O you might want to tap out right now because this post is all about my experience on Lifeclass one year ago.

Remember how I wrote an entry about going to see Oprah’sLifeclass then I fell off the blogosphere? It is because I couldn’t find the words to express what the experience was like.

"O" Happy Day!

Y'all...
You know it's serious when I start with a "y'all." OK, something so major, so epic, so monumental, is happening in less than 30 days and I am about to burst with excitement and joy.


No, I'm not getting married, I'm not moving, but I will fulfill a dream that has been 25 years in the making.




I'm going to see OPRAH!!!!!!!

Her legendary talk show came to an end nearly a year ago and I thought I had missed my opportunity to see Lady O do her thing in front of a live audience.  As promised, she hasn't gone away, but she's started a new chapter on her OWN Network.


On March 26, she's filming an episode of her powerful series Lifeclass at the Peabody Opera House in St. Louis with Rev. T.D. Jakes, and I will be in the audience!


Season one of Lifeclass blew my mind. Each night, Oprah revisited the most unforgettable topics from the Oprah Winfrey Show and how those stories, and guests can serve as teachable moments to help you live your best life. 

Last week it was announced that season 2 was in the works and Oprah was taking the show on the road.Tickets were given away at random via an online lottery process and my dear friend and Lifeclassmate, Dewaynia scored a pair! I can't think of anyone I'd rather go with. We have spent countless hours in my room, with notebooks and Kleenex consuming the life lessons and applying them to our personal goals. Now we get a chance to see Professor Oprah in person and together.


So now we play the waiting game. Tickets have been booked, hotel is set. I think Dewaynia has her outfit selected!  I will keep you updated as we receive more details, but for now I hope you will set your DVRs and tune in.

Keep Breathing

Still Breathing by Brianna Martray

To say the last month has been a difficult one would be a gross understatement. I’ve had to deal with some pretty hardcore issues over the last few weeks. Good, bad, ugly and downright debilitating issues that have kept me from posting as often as I want to.

Professionally, things couldn’t be better. I’m lying, having a show syndicated in major markets would be better, but that’s a discussion for another time. What I know for sure is day after day we have fantastic shows. I know better than to wear mascara in the morning because most likely I will stain my face from crying and laughing. The energy is there, the chemistry is on point, and I am so proud of the work we’ve been producing on air.

Socially, I’m like the Energizer Bunny. My calendar and datebook are filled and I’m pursing new interests, enjoying the people I’m meeting, the company I keep, and the laughter and joy they bring me. 

The one thing I haven’t been so vocal about is my physical alignments and the way they changed me. A few posts ago I wrote a light hearted entry on being sick and staying at home resting. I down played my sickness because I didn’t want to come off as whiny and exaggerated. Truth be told I was at the most vulnerable and frightened place I’d ever been. I was literally breathless. Air struggled to get in and it was excruciating to breathe out. Our most basic human function, the thing we do in our sleep and without thought was the one thing I wasn’t able to do without experiencing severe pain and discomfort. 

This really did a number on me. I didn’t know why I was ill, I didn’t know how to get better. Doctors poked and prodded me for days and still weren’t able to give me the answers I needed. They took my blood, x-rayed my chest, medicated me, and still I wasn’t able to breathe normally. I don’t know if I will ever be able to fully express how helpless it made me feel. 

Then the paranoia set in. I couldn’t sleep from fear of not being able to breathe. I was scared that everything around me was making me sick. My house, my clothes, my friends, I suspected everything. My medications had side effects that altered my mood, personality and energy level. I felt trapped, no paralyzed from the neck down. My brain was functioning but my lungs and body were not.

I am much better now and although I’m active again, I diligently take time each day to rest and allow my lungs to heal. I’m back to doing the things that brought me joy until the sickness took them away. Things like singing, working out, even laughing. Can you believe I couldn’t laugh without enduring pain? 

I’m ashamed to admit that I let the sickness get the best of me. It was only for a short time, but it happened. For a brief moment I gave up and even thought about how much easier it would be to just let go and disappear. No more pain, no infection, no sickness. The battle was too much for me, or so I thought. 

I’m officially closing that chapter of my life. I’m not going to dwell on that pain, that fear, and that feeling of helplessness. I am better. I won. I’m breathing. 

Some of you have shared that you are going through your own “sickness” right now. Something is blocking you from being your authentic self, something is paralyzing you or taking your breath away, zapping your energy and will to move forward. Push past it, move on, you deserve better, you are better, you will get better and you’ll come out of it so much stronger. I promise the sickness will leave. And if it won’t go, breathe, gather and fight like hell to find your way to your own healing. 

Now excuse me while I go outside, give thanks, and  breathe in some fresh air. I so deserve it.

Until next time, 
Deidre 

Faith vs. Fear

Source

I found this just when I needed it....pass it on if you or someone you know needs a little motivation to stop doubting themselves and their ability to be brave.

Have a FEARLESS day my loves!''

-Deidre

Dee-Style: Paula Patton

New mother and actress Paula Patton looks amazing in this simple and classic ensemble.  I picked her for this week's look for less because I think this is a look most women can wear no matter what size you wear. The jacket and dress combo is flattering to all body types and can remixed with other items in your closet for a different look.

 Here is the look for less in both plus and straight sizes. I will do more style posts like this because right now I'm smack dab in the middle. It is frustrating at times to be in between like this, but I'm learning to deal with it, and support designers and stores who promote size diversity and make clothing for women of all shapes and sizes! 

Here is the look in straight sizes

Black Dresses by Asos
Platforms by Bumper

And here is the look in plus sizes

Casual Jackets by Newport News
Platforms by Bumper

My point is don't let ANYONE tell you that your styling options are limited because of your size. With a little effort, creativity, and confidence, you can find items out there that work for your body!

Until next time!

Deidre

 

Go Your Own Way

Long time no blog huh? Well, it has been a busy week for me and I have neglected my blog for far too long! What has it been, like 3 days? Well I am back with a Do It Yo’self project that should take most people about an hour to complete. However I am special and it took me a heck of a lot longer because I was distracted by the Lifetime Movie Network, wine, and a few miscalculations.

Little known fact, I was the art teacher for an after-school program when I was in college. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Helping kids explore their creativity was such a beautiful thing to witness. They taught me that you don’t have to be skilled in sketching or watercolors to make your very own masterpiece. All it takes is the willingness to allow yourself the freedom to experiment with different materials, and to not be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t turn out the way you envisioned it.

This project was very personal to me. It combines my love of music, as well as some personal issues I’ve been struggling with over the last few months. As I write this I am struggling with just how in depth I should be about what drove me to make these choices, because it was very complex and I know you love me, but who wants to read this all night?

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a fan of Fleetwood Mac. It probably has a lot to do with my mother who exposed me to all types of music at a young age. I remember being a little girl spinning around in my living room while singing along with Stevie Nicks (especially her solo hit Stand Back).

Their 1977 album Rumors is probably the album that has influenced me the most. Every song on that record speaks to me on levels I didn’t quite understand when I was younger but now, as an adult it is crystal clear to me why I fell in love with these songs and lyrics.  Songs like Landslide, Songbird, and Don't Stop. Second Hand News and Never Going Back Again break my heart every time I listen to them.

Rumors was my first love. It taught me everything I needed to know about relationships, with your friends, family, and loved ones when they’re good, and especially when they go bad.

One day I was listening to “Go Your Own Way” and I don’t know if I can explain it to you, but I was moved to express myself through those lyrics, and I didn’t know how. These words stood out to me: 

Loving you isn’t the right thing to do 

How can I ever change things that I feel?

If I could baby I’d give you my world 

How can I, when you won’t take it from me? 

At the moment I was living those lyrics. If you’ve ever been in a place where you felt like no matter what you did, the object of your affection wasn’t open to or willing to allow you access into their world, then you know how I felt listening to this song. If there is someone standing between you and what you really want, in life and all it would take for you to achieve your goal is for them to listen to you and let you do your thing, you know how I felt listening to this song. If you’ve ever tried over and over again to tell a dear friend that their reckless behavior, and poor decision making was only making their life more complicated than it needed to be, guess what? You know, how I felt, listening to this song. 

You can go your own way 

You can call it another lonely day

I needed a way to tell this to a few people in my life, but how? I can’t sing or play an instrument like Lindsay Buckingham. I for damn sure didn’t have the courage to say it to these people who were blocking me from my happiness at the time, especially when some of us weren’t even on speaking terms.

So I thought of another way to express myself through these lyrics. I chose a way that would remind me each and every day that even though I want to have a certain type of relationship with some of my friends, family members and associates, I am not in control of what they do or how they see me, so I made this.

I took a map and detailed the places I’ve been, where I want to go, and the people who have helped or hindered me in the process. 

All it took was a map, alphabet stickers from a craft store and a frame. Easy right?

At first I was all worried about the alignment, and spacing, of the words and letters. Then I realized, like real life and relationships, it is far from perfect. Nothing is ever aligned exactly the way we want them to be when it comes to the people we care about. So instead of letting the ruler guide me, I went my own way.

Thanks to my good friend Zach for helping me find my way and the courage to do so.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Hi! I'm Deidre and welcome to my blog! I've been wanting to do this for so long and I finally got the courage to share my thoughts via the web. I have so much to talk about, so many things I want to share, I don't even know where to begin. Basically I want to be heard and I want to listen and learn from you guys. I'd love for this to be a place for me to share my world and get some things off my chest. That has been a running theme in my life.

I pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated in the fall of 2001. I earned the line name “Ace VENTura” because throughout my process I’d often start conversations by saying “Umm I need to vent..” Working in such a large group with my sisters and trying to get things accomplished was difficult because everyone wanted to be heard. So I’d bite my tongue for as long as I could, my head would begin to throb, my chest got tight, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I’d stand up and say those words “Umm I need to vent” and everyone knew it was going to be a very long night. Everything I’d held onto was about to be unloaded. But hey we all want to be heard right?

I guess I still felt the need to be heard because since 2003, I’ve been the co-host of a morning radio show geared towards men. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job but I’m the only woman on a show with 4 guys. It’s like The View with man meat and I’m the odd-chick out,the Elizabeth Hasselbeck of my show. You know how Whoopi, Joy, Sherri, and Barbra Walters lean to the left politically and Lizzy is the Lone Republican Ranger? Well on my show I’m very vocal about my support of President Obama, gay marriage, and most liberal topics. Our audience leans toward the right and is male oriented so yeah sometimes I struggle to get my point across. I enjoy and encourage the healthy dialogue on our program with my co-hosts and listeners but sometimes even after talking to thousands of people for 5 hours each day,I still need to vent. That is why I started this blog.

I’m also going through a major physical transformation. I packed on a ton of pounds (I stopped counting around 100,) as a result of poor choices, health issues, and some wicked steroids and hormones I took to “get better.” Let me tell you it SUCKED ass and I wanted it gone. That rapid and massive weight gain did a number on my body and health so I had weight loss surgery (lap-band,) because my doctors agreed carrying all that weight on a small frame was doing even more damage than my prior health issues. See:


Since I try to avoid cameras at all times, I don't really have a full body "after" shot but I took this photo 3 months ago:


So all is good right? Dee got a quick fix and the weight is just gonna melt off in no time and she will finally get her sexy back? Hell to the no. Anyone who tells you surgery is an easy out is grossly uninformed and needs to shut the hell up. It is more like a tool to kick start your lifestyle change. It worked for me I knocked off about 30lbs in no time. After that initial drop the hard work begins. You have to worry about portion control, working out, making sure you’re getting all the nutrients you need, and blah blah blah. This shit requires commitment. But I don’t want to get into all of that during our first encounter. If you stick around you’ll hear all about my process, and the ups and downs of my weight loss. For now I can tell you I’ve lost 80lbs in 8 months and I would love to lose about 50 more.

I’m also an HGTV ho’. Seriously, I’d sell body to get on Design on a Dime, real talk. I have a love jones for Vern Yip. I’ve been stalking him since his Trading Spaces days. He completes me. I even got to meet him once see!



Don’t we look good together? I was crushed when I learned we could never be. He kissed a boy and he liked it. Liked it so much they adopted a kid together. If he’d called me I would have been honored to carry his little Yip in my womb in exchange for a bathroom makeover. Ok that sounds creepy, of course I wouldn’t do that. I’m lying I’d totally get knocked up by Vern to get a whirlpool tub!

See here I go just yammering and going on, getting off track! Let me wrap up this intro. So yea my name is Deidre, I’m a dj, trying to lose weight, get my house together, find love and happiness, and while I’m at it, I’d like to end world hunger. Welcome to my blog! I hope you come back soon! *Insert pageant wave*