2013 has been pretty suck-tackular. Well, 80% of it has sucked, 15% bearable and 5% good stuff. Loss, lies, life and death are just a few life altering issues my friends and loved ones have tackled bravely this year.

We’re ½ way through this mug and I’m still not feeling you 2013! Everyone was all worried about 2012 being end times, and look, y’all didn’t even know the session of suck that was right around the corner!

But as hard as this year has been, I’m not going to make you sit through a Debbie Downer post with no real message and make you all sad with my personal laundry list of suck. That’s not how I do thangs!

I’m determined to find some silver linings because I do believe everything happens for a reason. Call it corny, that’s my belief and I’m sticking to it! I’ve discovered that these things are called blessons.

Passion Meets Purpose: Jimmeka Anderson

I’m a very lucky girl. I don’t know how it happened, but over the years I’ve met some pretty remarkable people who are very passionate and goal oriented. They had desires and dreams then found the means to make them come true. I will profile them in a new feature called Passion Meets Purpose. It is my hope that their stories encourage and empower the rest of us to do the same.

This week we speak with Jimmeka Anderson of I AM not the Media. I was introduced to Jimmeka in 2005 when she became a member of The Nu Rho Chapter of Alpha Kappa AlphaSorority Incorporated (Skee Wee!)

No Fear: My Oprahversary

Today’s my Oprah-versary! If you don’t get down with Lady O you might want to tap out right now because this post is all about my experience on Lifeclass one year ago.

Remember how I wrote an entry about going to see Oprah’sLifeclass then I fell off the blogosphere? It is because I couldn’t find the words to express what the experience was like.

Beast Mode Pt 2

Better late than never right?

Ok, last time we spoke I was going into round 3 of my 4 workouts in one day. After pilates and free-style dancing, I returned to Level 5 for a kickboxing class.

This was a major move for me. I never go to classes solo. I always take a friend who will cut up and giggle with me. When in beast mode, I couldn't allow myself to lose focus so I went alone. This time the class was kickboxing. Honestly, everything I know about kickboxing I learned from my homeboy Billy Blanks and his Tae Bo box set. Yep, I still have my VHS somewhere in my basement.

I've taken this class before but not on an empty stomach. Message to the kids, food is fuel!  I was so caught up, I forgot to eat real food before my work out and I struggled to make it through. I was doing that "let me act like I need to stop to tie my shoes but in reality I need to catch my breath" move in the middle of "I Got A Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas.


There I was slumped over gasping for air in a room full of women when boom! 3 tall dark and handsome young men walked into the studio. I'm guessing they were there to check out the gym and grab a schedule. Boy I perked up so fast! I was jabbing and doing the roundhouse kicks looking like Dragon Fly Jones.



I was in the zone and right as the guys walked out, the instructor gave us the wrap it up and stretch moves. I was so happy to be done. Really, I was about to pass out from not eating.

As I walked out I stopped to say bye to the owner of the gym when I heard a sound come from my tummy that was so intense I wish I had a recording to prove it's seriousness. It sounded like the NC A&T marching band was performing a half-time show in my gut!!

So I got home, ate dinner and was like OK, I am going to walk 3 miles for my final work out. And I swear as soon as I laced up, I got a Facebook notifcation that we had a rabid fox running loose in my little neighborhood. I stole this pic from my neighbor's Facebook page (Thanks Mark)

 Reports said animal control was on the way and to stay inside. It's very Antoine Dodson "Hide yo kids, hide yo wives." Word on the streets is the fox was "handled."

Soooo, I had to do the X-Box Zumba workout and called it a night.

So how do I feel 24 hours later? GREAT!!! I mean my abs are crazy sore and it wasn't easy but I did it! Me, Downton Abbey watching, cookie butter eating, non-twerking Deidre James did 4 workouts in one day.

Aaaaaand I managed to get another workout in today with my new trainer. Yeah, it's like that. I would love to write about my first session but umm it's time for Scandal and ain't nobody got time to blog when Olivia Pope and them are on.

So there you have it, I got it in and I survived! If you are local and ever wanna join me for a work out find me on Facebook and let's get moving. Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

Until next time!

Beast Mode Part 1

Hello Dee-talers! Heads up, I'm writing this on the fly from my phone so we might have a gang of typos and I'm gonna need for you to get past that and focus on the bigger picture here ok?

You ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired? I realized I have been in a physical funk and after losing a good amount of weight and living a healthy lifestyle, I was back on Team Fluffikins.

Sipping wine, eating cookie butter, watching Series 3 of Downton Abbey like it was my job. Man I was up to no good! But who wants to work out??? Why do I have to sweat!? Pass the cookie butter and leave me be!

Then this happened...

Dang Superbowl Halftime Show. Dang Destiny's Child Reunion. Dang Beyonce's  gyrating. And Dang Kelly Rowland's ridiculously cut arms!!

Wake up call!!  I called myself learning the break it down part to End of Time and almost collapsed a lung. Not cool!

 
So fine. I will never be a member of Destiny's Child. I will never wear a python onesie in front of 100 million people, but can I get my lungs to hold enough air to get me through a song please God? Can I live!!??

Ok I'm being dramatic (again) point is its time to get off Team Fluffikins and work my way up to being a starter on Team Fly As A Mugg. I've been easing into things. A class here and there, waling and eating better but it's time to get turnt up!

So today I am attempting to kick start my efforts by doing 4 yes 4 workouts in one day.

Now listen I ain't stupid. This won't be an everyday thing, but I'm looking at it as my Get it Right Inauguration. I Deidre James hereby do solemnly swear to dedicate my time and efforts into being well, fly as a mugg!

So I'm going to keep track of every activity and hopefully I can complete all 4. No skipping ahead alright? Ok let's go!

photo by Level 5 Studio

Workout #1: All Them Mocha Lattes You Gotta Do Pilates
12:15 PM
I went to Level 5 Studios for my very 1st Pilates class.
I met my instructor who was tall blonde  beautiful and very kind. The class had 4 other Pilates Pros and I was the thickest most out of shape newbie in the bunch.

The class was challenging but I felt comfortable in the company of the other class mates. The instructor modified the moves for me, took time to correct my poses and even challenged me to do some advanced moves.
I will say at one point when we were in children's pose. I thought I was going suffocate myself with my breasteses!
At the end of the class, everyone congratulated me on not giving up and I took a bow. I have a loooong way to go before I'm anywhere close to being as good as my classmates, but I still give the experience an A!

Tips: wear light weight breathable clothing, if you're busty, lock those chesticles down and wear a crew neck shirt. No v-necks! Also make sure your feet don't look like a smashed up bag of Fritos. No shoes, no socks, so grease up those ankles!
Invest in a comfy mat. You will spend a lot of time on it and you will sweat!

Work Out #2 Show Me What You're Twerkin With
Confession, I can't dance like I used to. I mean I can dance as in I still know the moves to Janet Jackson videos and I can bust out the routine to Bell Biv Devoe's Poison but umm as far as the dances that are popular today, I'm a straight up old lady. So I googled YouTube video tutorials on some of today's moves like the Dougie, Twerkin, the REAL Harlem Shake and the Cat Daddy.

Maaaaan that was just sad. I don't think my Lord and Savior wants me to be Twerk Team Captain because I swear on my last jar of cookie butter you will never see me twerking in public. The movements, the sounds, the facial expressions. I quit this workout before I could burn a single calorie. I don't want to dance like this. Didn't break any kind of sweat, but I did break my own heart. That was just sad. I give that an F!!


Ok this post is getting long and I have to get ready for my other work outs. Do I have it in me or will I stay on team Fluffikins?

To be continued...

I’m Bossy

Hello, my name is Deidre and I am guilty of a perpetrating a fashion faux pas. No, I didn’t mix a fanny pack with a track suit or high water acid washed jeans. My friends, I’ve been rocking a very hideous pair of bossy pants and let me tell you, they are not flattering!

See, my regular pants haven’t felt all that great lately. No matter what I pair with them, I just can’t seem to find the right look; I’m not feeling like myself.  I’ve been going through some changes and what do most women do when they need a pick me up? They go shopping!

Instead of buying a decent pair of safe, comfy sensible pants, I decided to splurge on the most outlandish, Project Runway rejected, ill-fitting pair of bossy pants I could find.

When I put them on, I knew immediately that they weren’t me, but I felt the need to keep them on, work ‘em and see if I could own the look.

Big mistake!  Bossy pants aren’t cute on anyone and when you wear them around people and try to force them to like your new look, you end up looking lame.

I’m sure some of you are wondering what the heck I’m talking about. What I’m trying to communicate is I have been in control mode. Not the Ike Turner, “eat the cake Anna Mae” controlling...

More dreamy Backstreet Boys “I Want It That Way” controlling.

Tell me why??

When things fall apart and you are trying to navigate your way through the ick, sometimes you feel the need to be the decider and you want things to happen on your terms and on your time. Well how selfish is that?

The worst part is when things did not go my way I threw mini-hissy fits. Nothing major but on a scale of one to Chris Brown, I’d say I was at a 3.

I’ve been practicing The Four Agreements and one of them is “Don’t take anything personally.”  I SUCK at that. I am all heart and when I hear “no” or “not right now” I take it to mean “Yuck, you suck, ain’t nobody got time for you!”  

That’s when the brain should kick in and say “Dude, chill it’s not about you, people have stuff to do!” Lame right? I know, I know you don’t have to tell me. I get it.

When you experience a series of disappointments sometimes your logical self goes out the window and your bossy- self steps in and tries to make things better by controlling situations. I mean y’all have no idea how many no’s I’ve had to accept the last few weeks. 

People working on my house, trying to buy my wine, trying scheduling meetings, trying to buy large amounts of wine that's not in stock, seeing friends, not having my usual amount of wine.

 I kept hearing No, I can’t. That won’t work for me, or let’s reschedule. Your wine is not here. It’s was like that Destiny’s Child song. No, not the one about the bills, the other one from back back in the day. “No No No”. 

So when I heard the most recent no I went straight to the store and bought those ugly bossy pants. I was determined to turn that no into a yes! Why? Well because I was being lame. I took the no personally. Light bulb moment Miss James, it’s not always about you!

 I have a very hard time saying no to people.  For example this is a conversation I have all the time:

Friend: Wanna go out to eat?

Me: Naw, I have some leftovers and an episode of The Following I need to suffer through

Friend: Come on! It’ll be good

 

Me: No for real. I think Kevin Bacon will bust into a break dance sequence this episode

Friend: I’m on my way, we’re going to eat

Me: Ok…* pauses the DVR, throws on pleasing pants

OR

 

Friend: Hey can you do me a favor? I’m hosting an event to raise awareness for juvenile diabetes in the African American community. It’s called Sweet Brown Sugar Babies for Change. Will you come out?

Me: Oh wow that’s great but I don’t think I can make it

Friend: What? Do you hate your own people? What about the Sugar Babies?

Me: Can I just write a check?

Friend: No, that’s fine. Just don’t worry about it.

Me: No, I will be there. What’s the attire? *eats cupcake and throws on pleasing pants

 

So basically I’m a pleaser, and when people don’t make the same efforts to please me, I get offended and usually it’s the people who don’t ask much of me who see me strutting around in my bossy pants.  That’s not fair at all is it? 

A wise woman (Oprah) once said, “No is a complete sentence.” When someone says “no” that is the end of the conversation! Why go back and forth? It’s disrespectful and controlling. And just because I’ve been dealing with people who don’t understand that my no means no, doesn’t mean I get to tell unsuspecting and undeserving friends that their no’s don’t matter. Know what I’m saying?

So the next time someone tells you no and you try to change their mind, remember they know themselves and their needs way better than you do! It’s uncomfortable and it’s awkward. It doesn’t make you a good friend, it makes you a bully. 

I’m very happy to say I’ve learned my lesson and I am taking off these ugly bossy pants. They don’t suit me and I know I look much better in my sensible sassy pants. Feel better? I know I do. What's that? You want me to post a link to Kevin Bacon dancing? 

OKAY! How can I say no to that?

Until next time :)

 

Love's In Need Of Love Today: The Newtown Tragedy

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Well this is not the way I wanted to re-launch Dee-Tales, however the only thing I can think about right now is the current state of humanity in light of recent mass shootings. This week alone we’ve heard about a gunman in Oregon taking the lives of 2 people, an attack on 22 children in China and now today, the tragedy in Newtown Connecticut. 

First I want to acknowledge the unimaginable pain and sadness of the survivors and loved ones of the deceased. I have 3 nieces, 1 nephew and a god daughter all school aged and I would be inconsolable if anything remotely similar to today’s massacre happened anywhere near them.

Like the rest of the world. I wish I knew what was going on in the mind of the gunman. I want to know what pushed him to thinking this was the way to deal with the pain and anger that consumed him. Why would you kill innocent children, babies? Was there anything that could have prevented this? I drove home listening to the news on my radio with tears streaming down my face as I thought about the terror and confusion those babies felt in their final moments.

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Part of me thinks I should just be in the moment and allow my heart to break for those families and be grateful that my loved ones are safe and sound. Another part of me wants to do something. I want to do something to remind myself and others that although today is and will remain one of the darkest we’ve lived, that there is still light and love on Earth.

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I’m afraid as the details of this gruesome killing spree come to light; we will do what we always do in the age of social media and 24 hour news cycles. We will finger point, debate gun control, argue the 2^nd Amendment and copy and paste anti-gun articles for a few days until a semi funny auto-tuned news piece goes viral and we forget about the Newtown community.

Don’t try to tell me I’m wrong. You’ve already forgotten the details of the Aurora, CO shooting. "Was it 10 or 13 dead? Let me Google it. Oh wait I was just re-tweeted! I’ll get to it later." This is how we deal with tragedy in 2012 and it isn’t good enough.

So what do we do? Well, I for one will not look to politicians, parents, or the media to “fix” this. I’m starting with me. I’m going to treat people with respect and compassion. I’m going to ease up on dismissing someone’s feelings as being “silly” or saying someone is overreacting and soft because my joke didn’t sit well with them.

Imagine what would happen if we were more thoughtful with our words and more giving of our time and compassion. I’m not saying it will stop a mass shooting from happening, but I do believe when people feel like they matter and are appreciated, they are less likely to act out in negative ways or become a social recluse. 

Yes, I know in some cases crazy people do evil things and evil people do crazy things and no amount of compassion or love can change those who are hell bent on causing harm. I do believe there is something to be said about mental illness and the lack of social acceptance of those who suffer from it. 

My point is this; there is no one to charge for this crime. No trial, no jury, no sentencing for the alleged killer. Let’s not turn this into a social media circus. Let’s use this as a starting point to acknowledge that we have a problem with guns, violence, and compassion in this country. We have to meet each other halfway and hear each other out. We have to take a long hard look at our culture and communication methods and fix them! 

President Obama addresses the nation:

 Be the change you want to see in the world. Even when your enemy is telling you you’re wrong and that peace and harmony are pipe dreams. Remind them that the alternative of doing nothing and accepting hateful behavior as being the new norm, is the reason why families in Newtown will be having funerals instead of holiday parties next week. 

Peace and Love,

Deidre

"O" Happy Day!

Y'all...
You know it's serious when I start with a "y'all." OK, something so major, so epic, so monumental, is happening in less than 30 days and I am about to burst with excitement and joy.


No, I'm not getting married, I'm not moving, but I will fulfill a dream that has been 25 years in the making.




I'm going to see OPRAH!!!!!!!

Her legendary talk show came to an end nearly a year ago and I thought I had missed my opportunity to see Lady O do her thing in front of a live audience.  As promised, she hasn't gone away, but she's started a new chapter on her OWN Network.


On March 26, she's filming an episode of her powerful series Lifeclass at the Peabody Opera House in St. Louis with Rev. T.D. Jakes, and I will be in the audience!


Season one of Lifeclass blew my mind. Each night, Oprah revisited the most unforgettable topics from the Oprah Winfrey Show and how those stories, and guests can serve as teachable moments to help you live your best life. 

Last week it was announced that season 2 was in the works and Oprah was taking the show on the road.Tickets were given away at random via an online lottery process and my dear friend and Lifeclassmate, Dewaynia scored a pair! I can't think of anyone I'd rather go with. We have spent countless hours in my room, with notebooks and Kleenex consuming the life lessons and applying them to our personal goals. Now we get a chance to see Professor Oprah in person and together.


So now we play the waiting game. Tickets have been booked, hotel is set. I think Dewaynia has her outfit selected!  I will keep you updated as we receive more details, but for now I hope you will set your DVRs and tune in.

Cupcake Crawl: Part Two

Geez, talk about a cliffhanger! I guess the holidays got the best of me and I neglected the Cupcake Crawl follow-up.

The plan was to form a group of cool, easy going cupcake lovers who would be game for a 48 hour sugary carb-a-thon in our nation's capital.


I had so many friends who wanted to go, but it was impossible to find a date to accommodate everyone, so I settled on mid-October and prayed for good weather.  Next, I listed my favorite and highly recommended cupcakeries and mapped out the ultimate trail of goodness. I ended up taking a small group of four up I-95  for a weekend of delicious debauchery. The ride up the road was fairly easy, but I did get freaked out by something we saw in Virginia.

 That's a deer sitting straight up y'all! I was semi-losing it until my friend Jessica told me it was already dead, then I totally lost it.


As usual when traveling into DC, I hit some major traffic right around Quantico. That's when the iPod saved the day by playing some sweet tunes, including this monster jam from Wilson Phillips.

Once we made it into DC we had dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Eatonville.  Eatonville was inspired by writer Zora Neale Hurston who wrote this amazing novel:

The restaurant is beautiful and the food is delicious. As a matter of fact, the food was so good, I didn't have time to take pictures, as I was too busy eating! I enjoyed fried chicken, greens, mac n cheese, and a fabulous drink called a Blue Shandy. I took a pic of the menu in hopes of recreating it at home.

 Here we are all kinds of happy and full.

After busting our guts at Eatonville, we hit up the 1st stop on our crawl,  Cakelove.

I tried the Strawberry Lemonade

 Drunk off cupcakes

 I love #1: Cake without fat is just bread

Full and happy (I'm sensing a trend)

After Cakelove, we headed back to the hotel for much needed rest, and woke up bright and early for the official crawl.

First  stop was Sprinkles. I am usually a fan of this place but sadly, that day the service and selections were not on point. The cupcakes were good and I will leave it at that. 

Next stop was Georgetown Cupcakes. I LOVE this place. As I mentioned in the previous post, they just do everything right.  Great customer service, accurate menus, and delicious cupcakes!  Here is a pic of April and Kerry waiting for Georgetown Cupcakes to open.

Special shout out to The Red Shirt Company for our custom Cupcake Crawl shirts. We looked all kinds of hot and people loved the effort put into the crawl! Side note, that's honorary Cupcake Crawler Tee. We met in line and became instant friends :)

Finally inside! Me so happy! My favorite flavors were the chocolate coconut, chocolate hazelnut, and lava fudge.

After we left Georgetown Cupcake we headed down M Street to Baked and Wired but something major happened. Look at who we ran into....

TONY BENNETT!!  He was on his way to Brooks Brothers sans entourage and we were able to snap a quick picture with the legend.

Next stop was Baked &Wired. Think of it like this, If Georgetown Cupcake is like Michael Jackson, Baked & Wired is Janet Jackson. You love them both, but Michael is the King! I tried to post a link to their shop but it is currently under construction.  If you're ever in DC do yourself a favor and check them out.  It is often identified by the pink bicycle outside.

Their cupcakes are HUGE! 

My favorite cupcake was called the Flapjack. It had a pancake-ish batter with maple syrup icing and massive chunks of bacon inside!

Our final stop was Hello Cupcake in Dupont Circle

I thought this place was adorable and they had some really interesting cupcake flavors including the Lucy and Raspberry Beret. The Lucy is lemon cake with raspberry butter cream icing, named after Lucille Ball. The Raspberry Beret is chocolate cake with the raspberry butter cream icing.

We didn't have a lot of time for sight-seeing but while stick in traffic we saw the Washington Monument

Believe it or not, we made time to eat actual food. Again, the food was so good, I didn't bother to waste precious chew time snapping photos.  We had lunch at Good Stuff Eatery on Capital Hill. Real talk, this place has the best burgers, fries, and shakes. The ingredients are so fresh, and the customer service is amazing. Chef Spike Mendelsohn of Top Chef fame owns Good Stuff and We The Pizza which is next door. If you're in DC and you want your mind blown you have to check them out.

 

Later on that night, we met up with my friend Dewaynia who lives in DC. She took us to a fantastic restaurant on the National Harbor called Bangkok Joe's. 
My entree was ridiculous. I ordered the Crying Dragon; flank steak, with red onions, basil, a papaya side salad, and sticky Thai rice. We had the Thai Banana for dessert, along with some delicious (strong) cocktails. After dinner we said our goodbyes and posed for some pictures by the water.

I love us!

The next morning, we packed up and headed home with a car full of cupcakes to share with our friends and family. We had such a good time I plan on doing it again this spring! If you would like to join me or have additional questions about my Cupcake Crawl, shoot me an email at deidre@mydeetales.com