Beast Mode Part 1

Hello Dee-talers! Heads up, I'm writing this on the fly from my phone so we might have a gang of typos and I'm gonna need for you to get past that and focus on the bigger picture here ok?

You ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired? I realized I have been in a physical funk and after losing a good amount of weight and living a healthy lifestyle, I was back on Team Fluffikins.

Sipping wine, eating cookie butter, watching Series 3 of Downton Abbey like it was my job. Man I was up to no good! But who wants to work out??? Why do I have to sweat!? Pass the cookie butter and leave me be!

Then this happened...

Dang Superbowl Halftime Show. Dang Destiny's Child Reunion. Dang Beyonce's  gyrating. And Dang Kelly Rowland's ridiculously cut arms!!

Wake up call!!  I called myself learning the break it down part to End of Time and almost collapsed a lung. Not cool!

 
So fine. I will never be a member of Destiny's Child. I will never wear a python onesie in front of 100 million people, but can I get my lungs to hold enough air to get me through a song please God? Can I live!!??

Ok I'm being dramatic (again) point is its time to get off Team Fluffikins and work my way up to being a starter on Team Fly As A Mugg. I've been easing into things. A class here and there, waling and eating better but it's time to get turnt up!

So today I am attempting to kick start my efforts by doing 4 yes 4 workouts in one day.

Now listen I ain't stupid. This won't be an everyday thing, but I'm looking at it as my Get it Right Inauguration. I Deidre James hereby do solemnly swear to dedicate my time and efforts into being well, fly as a mugg!

So I'm going to keep track of every activity and hopefully I can complete all 4. No skipping ahead alright? Ok let's go!

photo by Level 5 Studio

Workout #1: All Them Mocha Lattes You Gotta Do Pilates
12:15 PM
I went to Level 5 Studios for my very 1st Pilates class.
I met my instructor who was tall blonde  beautiful and very kind. The class had 4 other Pilates Pros and I was the thickest most out of shape newbie in the bunch.

The class was challenging but I felt comfortable in the company of the other class mates. The instructor modified the moves for me, took time to correct my poses and even challenged me to do some advanced moves.
I will say at one point when we were in children's pose. I thought I was going suffocate myself with my breasteses!
At the end of the class, everyone congratulated me on not giving up and I took a bow. I have a loooong way to go before I'm anywhere close to being as good as my classmates, but I still give the experience an A!

Tips: wear light weight breathable clothing, if you're busty, lock those chesticles down and wear a crew neck shirt. No v-necks! Also make sure your feet don't look like a smashed up bag of Fritos. No shoes, no socks, so grease up those ankles!
Invest in a comfy mat. You will spend a lot of time on it and you will sweat!

Work Out #2 Show Me What You're Twerkin With
Confession, I can't dance like I used to. I mean I can dance as in I still know the moves to Janet Jackson videos and I can bust out the routine to Bell Biv Devoe's Poison but umm as far as the dances that are popular today, I'm a straight up old lady. So I googled YouTube video tutorials on some of today's moves like the Dougie, Twerkin, the REAL Harlem Shake and the Cat Daddy.

Maaaaan that was just sad. I don't think my Lord and Savior wants me to be Twerk Team Captain because I swear on my last jar of cookie butter you will never see me twerking in public. The movements, the sounds, the facial expressions. I quit this workout before I could burn a single calorie. I don't want to dance like this. Didn't break any kind of sweat, but I did break my own heart. That was just sad. I give that an F!!


Ok this post is getting long and I have to get ready for my other work outs. Do I have it in me or will I stay on team Fluffikins?

To be continued...